Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
