I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
