It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
