I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
