i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
