im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
