Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
