The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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