He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
