I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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