He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My vagina just clenched in fear
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
