Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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