HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
