Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
