There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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