If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
