he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
