we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
