really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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