My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
