I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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