I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
