How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
