Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There's even glitter on my cock...
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