Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
