Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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