Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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