Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
