my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize