Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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