May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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