his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize