Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
