Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
