i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
