come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
drinking out of a sandbucket again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
