somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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