Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
