Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
