Plan B is the new Plan A
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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