she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
