I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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