p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
