I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
