"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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