I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
