Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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