um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
