and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
