She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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