you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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