And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We just shotgunned beers for America
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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