just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
