I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
