I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize