you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize