btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
