I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
