Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize