who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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