i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
