I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize